10 years.

[i know i haven't posted in forever, but i'll get to reasoning behind that. i just can't go by without taking note of this.]

april 29, 2002. i can't believe it's been ten years since uncle parkie left us. [i wrote about this last year, too]

at the time i had been keeping an online diary elsewhere, and even though it was a terrible time in my life, it's great to have those memories documented.

i remember that day so vividly, and reading my old journal entries makes me remember every detail. i remember driving the 3.5 hours to my sister's college, running into one of her friends and asking him to let us in the building, and just walking to my sister's room. she was so excited to see us, and then she realized why we were there.

and then there's the entry i wrote about the wake and funeral. sometimes, my teenage self wrote really oddly (not that i don't still write oddly now, but it's just different). but this entry gives me some hope, and since i occasionally find myself in the inconsolable state i was in 10 years ago, this makes me feel a little better.

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1000+, that's the amount of people that came to my uncle's viewing on Wednesday night. The line was out the door, and around the corner, and people waited almost 2 and a half hours to get to pay their last respects. So many students. So many PEOPLE. Everybody was flabbergasted and speechless. Nobody complained about waiting on line because the only conversation outside was about him, and they learned something new about him, as a friend, as a young child, as a teacher, as anything. In the sports section of the newspaper, there was an article about him that called him a legend, saying it was a sad day for all of central jersey.

So many people. I got to see some people that I would have liked to have seen, but just for a better occasion. Everything was so beautiful. So many flowers, from the school, from sports teams, from everybody. They got an embroidered thing for inside the casket that had music notes on it and said "Parkie" which was his nickname that everyone knew him as. On Wednesday before everybody came, me and my 4 cousins put something in the casket. My sister put in the game ball from her first varsity softball win, my cousin michele put in her tuba mouthpiece and her varsity softball pin. my cousin john put in his hat from his baseball team. my cousin stephanie put in a packet of bazooka gum, because uncle parkie always had bazooka gum. I put in a pin that said "Music: Pass it On" because that's exactly what he did.

Throughout the viewing, students and other people added things into the casket. One student put a set of drumsticks into the casket, and said "he taught me to play drums on these" another student made a drawing of a drum set that said RIP Mr. Barrett on it... the girls softball team(of who he used to be the coach) came in uniform and put in a ball signed by all of them.

At the funeral service on Thursday there was standing room only when there were chairs set up for 150+ people. A history teacher at my school talked [and old friend of his], and then my cousin michele talked. And she said that "it would always be April 29th, not February 3rd, the day the music died."

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he was so loved by so many people. and i bet that many of them have forgotten, or he may just be a distant memory in their minds. but he's here, front and center, always in my mind.

there's been a lot of loss in the past few weeks in my life--somewhat distantly connected. i can't help but think of uncle p. i know that he's been there in spirit through some major milestones in my life, shining down on us. i can't wait for him to be there with us this summer.

by the way, his wedding date was august 17th, the day before mine.

i miss you, uncle p.