sometimes, life just isn't fair.

we knew it was going to happen, we had warning, but it still doesn't make it any easier, any less sad.

my uncle passed away this morning. he was 52 years old. on january 9, 2011, he went to the doctor because he had this annoying cough that he couldn't get rid of. turns out, he had lung cancer. he never smoked a day in his life.

he is my mom's baby sister's husband. he has three kids, too young to have to deal with this. one just out of college, one just in college, and one in middle school. and it just breaks my heart that they have all just changed their facebook photos to pictures of their hands, holding their father's hand. i can't even imagine. my aunt lost her father and her husband in 3 months.

we knew it was coming soon since last week, it's just been one set of bad news after another, as he was hospitalized. when i talked to my mom yesterday, she told me she was flying up this afternoon. she didn't think she'd be there before anything happened.

my phone rang at 6:33am today. it was my mom. she just had to say "well, around 3am...." she told me that her and my dad were sitting on the plane, waiting for the door to be closed to take off. [mind you, we have just received the first snow storm since our unseasonable october storm this year]. i'm compulsively checking their flight status to make sure they take off. and it just did [1 minute early]. all i want is for them to arrive here safely. and i can't wait to just hug them and not let go.

when i talked to my mom, she commented on how much loss my sister and i have experienced in our short lives. only 1 was before my awareness of these things kicked in (i was 4). and the past 6 have been in the past 10 years. 2001-2002 was a bad year, we lost my uncle m. [accident], my uncle p.[unexpected], and aunt c.[Alzheimer's/old age]. so far, 2011-2012 is looking eerily like that year. since poppa passed away this october, also unexpectedly. the only other death, was my grandma, who also died of lung cancer. although she had been a smoker for a long time, she had only been diagnosed 7 months before.

if you're not familiar with lung cancer, it's aggressive and excruciating. it's ugly and painful as you struggle for every breath. and as my uncle was told in november, they were unable to find continuing treatments for him with the advanced stage.

as my mom mentioned, it's a good thing we have some happy times scheduled for this year. one of my cousins is getting married in april, and you obviously know about our big day in august. it's hard to think about happy times in the future at this moment.

RIP uncle ken 

sept 25, 1959 - jan 21, 2012